Posted in Personal Journal Blog

Days of Covid and George


(This story is a time capsule of words and thoughts shared from my diary. Written one year ago today, June 5, 2020.)

The mood of the day, gray, rainy, calm, quiet, hopeful yet frightening, motivated, loved, and slightly bored.

My feelings are all over the place this week as the world erupts with bubbling issues of racism, isolation, fear, and depression. The deaths of George Floyd over a counterfeit $20 bill and Ahmaud Arbery shot by a retired police officer and friends while he was running; have sparked peaceful protests and riots not just in America but around the entire world. In Auckland, NZ, there was a peace march of 9000 people to support #blacklivesmatter. Our two oldest daughters were there, marching with the others, demanding a global end to systemic racism. I am so proud of them. While proud of them, I’m dying to get out there and peacefully protest myself. Our youngest daughter fears for my safety and begs me not to; she is scared. Business owners are frightened. Businesses of every kind in towns around the US, broken into, looted, and burned. A Target was destroyed, along with CVS and Walmart, who had to close over 100 stores until there is order. Angry groups don’t care if you are rich, poor, white, black, Asian, Hispanic; they are fed up and are destroying people’s businesses and lives to make a loud screaming statement.

#nolivesmatteruntilblacklivesmatter I get it. I don’t blame them. I am ashamed to be white at times. I can’t express enough how I long to be united with black brothers and sisters (united with all races actually), and no matter how much I try, I will never feel the pain of the scorn heaped upon their backs repeatedly, heartlessly. We are one race, the human race. We all love, bleed, rejoice and grieve the same. We are one people. I am confused and angry, even sad and again ashamed of the way some (many) in my country, entitled Americans, still embrace racism and, on top of that, have responded to COVID-19 with anti-masking and misleading lies stating that it’s all a hoax. Over 500,000 people with families, spouses, and children, parents and friends who loved them, were killed by a hoax. Yes, Information is misleading or confusing. Politicians are worried about money over lives; Americans have lost jobs in the 10’s of millions. People are dying, starving, committing suicide (because it’s all too much). The world is riddled with rising mental illness cases, and many of us are hanging on by a thread. It’s a crazy time.

It’s hurricane season now, and we’ve had homes destroyed in our Florida brush fires. I thank God for today’s rain as it slows the flames. Yet someone in another community is praying for the rain to stop because landslides have washed their homes into the sea, taking more lives. Global warming, I say. Today people and parties do not respect each other, and our leaders are greatly divided. Some deplore Mr. Trump and his cronies, saying he is the “worst president in the history of all presidents.” He has been referred to as ignorant, a coward, and at times evil. The world feels as if it’s going mad. The chaos reminds me of scenes flashed on the news when I was a child, during the ’60s and ’70s.

I was laid-off from my job on March 20th and forced to get a lawyer and threaten litigation to get my last paycheck for three weeks of work. What is wrong with people? I don’t understand. I’m gun shy at the thought of working for anyone again. I don’t want to sell ice to Eskimos, and I don’t want to be an easy to replace cog in another machine. My husband and God have provided well for us through all of this, and I am thankful. Today, in the stillness of this very moment, I love my life, but there are people lost in depression who are in the process of ending theirs.

Beyond my front door, the world around me is in chaos. In my home, there is safety, love, and contentment. Privileged folks make home repairs and renovations in isolation while others walk that fine line of living paycheck to paycheck while tipping over the edge into homeless obscurity. There are rich who can’t fathom what it’s like to go hungry as they lay their heads down at night on a mountain of soft Down pillows. Then there are the devastatingly poor who are struggling to fill the stomachs of their fearful starving children and provide them an isolated online education while sleeping in cars, under bridges, in bug-infested woods, and abandoned houses. Now is a time when there is much to do. We must find common ground rise from our complacency and plan for a better tomorrow as we isolate. We need peace across the aisle and over the back fence. “There’s a change a comin” it’s time, we’ve been “woke” and what we’ve seen can’t and shouldn’t be unseen.

(Looking back on last year’s writing, I think we are changing with each tiny step forward. We have changed political leadership. We remember the lives of those we’ve lost. While #blacklivesmatter isn’t speaking as loud today, I haven’t forgotten, and those with a conscience, bravery, heart, and voice are still talking, protesting, and will fight till their last breath (hopefully peacefully) until we have evolved into an actual accepting, loving, multicultural society. With vaccinations administered to half of us, we are coming out of our homes and returning to the office maskless in some places here in the US. I have the privileged opportunity to write my blog and memoir. Brush fires in FL are minimal this year, and hurricane season is approaching. We don’t know what storms we will weather yet; we can get through them better together if we learn from our past, allow ourselves to grow, fight against morally wrong behavior and actions and unite as one people, a beautiful blend of colors. The colors that God chose to paint the world we live in on a planet we must equally share in love.)

Author:

I have had a wonderfully colorful life, rich with varied experiences. My ability as a singer and career as an administrative assistant/marketing communications manager; have presented me with a wide range of opportunities. I have been fortunate to work with and learn from some accomplished and intelligent business owners, executives and artists. I have explored the world, markets and non-profits I would have never dreamed of exploring. I started out performing in community theater then professionally in night clubs and working as a studio vocalist at the age of 12 in Naples Florida, my home town. My vocal studies began at the age of 8 with my mother who gave me my first vocal lessons. I have had the opportunity to learn with some talented vocal coaches since those lessons with my mother. With them I developed the ability to sing Classical, Jazz and Pop; which allowed me to make a living in the music industry for over 30 years, in America, Europe and NZ. I became proficient in handling the business end of performing and teaching and developed administrative skills that would be used more prominently later on in my life, which I cover further down in this piece. I managed all my own performance bookings and began promoting myself as an up and coming singer, beating the pavement in Nashville TN and learned how to sell my talents in a place where everyone and their mother can sing. Performing in front of large audiences has forced me to be more than skilled at holding my own. I have also been a studio singer and voice over artist, taught choir and private lessons and was the president of a local non-profit music school in NZ for 3 years. Once my husband and I began a family, my career focus shifted more to assisting others in their businesses, along with marketing and often selling their products. I took on the roles of Sales, Marketing Communications and Administrative Assistant full time. Environments where I have worked in these capacities have varied. The most joy I find in my career is having the ability to tap into my creative side where I have been encouraged to indulge in my love for creative and copy writing, both personally and for professionally. I worked in our own residential and commercial playground company and for a Website development/social media management company and cherished watching the birth of our new products become known to the public and seeing our client base grow. I have developed the skill for marketing and promoting products and services through the written word, but I am also a strong and persuasive sales person face to face. We moved from NZ where we had been for 12 yrs, back to Naples Florida in 2015. I took the position as the Administrative Assistant to the Pastor, at the church I grew up in. In my position there I used every skilled I had acquired over my lifetime, from administrative to performing as a vocalist/worship leader. I am a passionate employee and business woman and find it easy to fully immerse myself in my work while still finding joy in the day to day, what I do and the people in my life. My passions are still singing, promoting, creative writing, encouraging others to pursue their dreams while achieve their goals and being outdoors. I love my hometown of Naples and take advantage of all the beauty and outdoor opportunities it has to offer on a regular basis. Being an active person I work best when on the move and busy, socializing and intellectually stimulated. I also thrive in a situation where I have the opportunity to continue learning new skills. I work on being the best version of myself and strive to give it my best shot every day.

4 thoughts on “Days of Covid and George

  1. Hi Jeri, thank you for your honesty and vulnerability in sharing your journal entry from one year ago. I connected with it on many levels. Sending lots of love, peace, and energy your way! Jaime
    PS: I recommend the new audible book, “You Are Your Best Thing,” by Tarana Burke & Brene Brown, where you can hear stories from Black contributors to learn about their experiences.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So much grief has gone on in the world, especially in the past year. Thank you for sharing your journal and thoughts. The one thing I can’t figure out when there is a protest is all the violence that is brought on by the rioters who set fires and loot stores that weren’t involved in any way. Praying that we can become a nation of love by everyone.

    Liked by 1 person

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